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Spottolski is a cult figure in German internet circles involving about two or three readers. He was nominated dramatis persona. He knows everything. And discusses it.


Rural Marketing, that's life

Interview with Spottolski

We actually cornered Spottolski, well-known tomcat in the village of Ohorn, for a discussion. His views will make competitors sit up.

How does a tom get into marketing

Spottolski   In a rural environment you're in marketing all the time: mice, chicks, moles - there's no rest for the wicked. Not when I'm on the prowl

But that's normal - the daily fight for survival?

Spottolski   Well? ... Marketing is Life

But marketing requires a market. How do you define your target group?

Spottolski   Let's see, there's Clara, Greeneye, Chappy, a couple of chicks in the lower village

And your marketing plan?

Spottolski   If I catch another tom: Hit first, hit hard, keep on hitting

What marketing tools do you employ?

Spottolski   Maybe you'd word that a little more digestably

I mean, what is your marketing mix?

Spottolski   Tender beef with bits of lamb, tuna, fresh stock sometimes, biological stuff, know what I mean?

Fresh stock?

Spottolski   A bird gone overboard from its nest, also the odd butterfly, just for wellness

We actually meant the four P's: Pricing, Promotions etc

Spottolski   We handle that on the fly, strictly target-group oriented: first come, first served

What do Spottolski's customers think of your performance?

Spottolski   Those who survived it, are quite pleased

Are you planning a web presence?

Spottolski   Sure

You wouldn't like to tell our readers a little more?

Spottolski   With pleasure: It'll be a community endeavour, a real juicy in-site with lots of flesh, H2O, PVC, everything that opens and closes: plug-off, hop-back, you name it. Most important, it's got to smell nice

So where is that going to get you?

Spottolski   Nowhere. But the boss is footing the bill

Last question: You're not really from Poland. How did you come by your name?

Spottolski   USP, know what I mean. I had to put on a really cool CI.

So you chose a Polish name. What's cool about that?

Spottolski   Name one Polish cat between Bretnig and Gickelsberg!

That trick's bound to be copied ...

Spottolski   ... I'll sort the bastards out!

It's that simple?

Spottolski   I got Marketing running in my veins

Thank you for your time

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